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“Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.” -Stephen Leacock

. . . And the following ads do that job just a little bit better.

Kill Bill Bloodevator

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Gun Bag

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Snow Man Smoking

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An Extra Special Soccer Match

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Fun Sized Power Outlet

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The Headache Cure

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Is That Steve Ballmer?

There really isn’t a setup that could do this video justice. It’s Steve Ballmer shilling Windows 1.0. I just have to assume that this is some kind of elaborate joke. If not, this video needs to be played before each and every one of his keynotes from this moment on.

You Wouldn’t Steal A Movie?

There is nothing like a jazzy soundtrack, quick scene changes, and a good old fashioned graffiti font to teach those dumb kids about the evils of piracy. If anything, I am sure that the number of handbag thefts went up for weeks after this PSA aired.

Don’t Copy That Floppy

Speaking of piracy.

Just as music had the cassette tape, software once had another form of disposable media — the floppy disk. Since big companies were terrified of their copies of Doom and Lotus Notes ending up in the hands of evil pirates, they enlisted the help of this fellow in the bowler hat. Who better to speak to kids in their own language and on their own level?

Well, I Am A Corporate Executive

This is why government officials have a hard time taking video games seriously as a form of creative communication. Even when you take into account that this Ad was made close to twenty years ago for Atari, you’re still left feeling that they didn’t actually watch it before it went to press.

Subway Ads

Most unintentionally happy depiction of tragedy.

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American Airlines

Most casually sexist advertising anachronism.

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Become A Doctor For 35k

Most likely path to a malpractice suit.

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Moving Company

Most likely to end up in a Moving For Dummies book.

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Mail Pouch

Most substantial meaning change from ad defacement.

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Staples Data Backup

Most ironically useless product.

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Charmin Feels Good On Your Skin

FedEx Will Get It To You Fast, Really Fast

Old Spice - Now With Menthol

Captain Crunch Versus . . . The French

McDonalds

West Street Cemetery

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It’s All Downhill

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The Pigeons Are Serious

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Underused Resources

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Sailors

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Corporal Punishment

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Electrocution

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Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Marc Ellis’ Fake Volcano

Afterlife

Divorce

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Lobotomy

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Wife Wanted

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Like Your Wife

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Welcome To South Carolina

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7/11 - 1960s

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NIN - Year Zero

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