Since I have posted nothing about this ostensibly useful but incredible addictive service, and since most of you have a pretty good understanding of its basic functionality (post exactly what you’re doing from anywhere, anytime). Today I thought it would be best to give you How To Splits top three ways to use Twitter to improve your life.

Microblogging

Now, for this post it was as easy as finding the Twitter logo to use in the header, but sometimes I have a hard time finding the perfectly “photoshopped” picture of a sad, crying clown on velvet wearing an Armani branded ski mask which perfectly represents my disdain for Apple’s new iWidget. Twitter eliminates the need for cruft, and reduces blogging to its bare essentials. Kind of like How To Split, but you know — actually implemented.

Misdirect stalkers

Lots of people on Twitter merely have a penchant for voyeurism, or a desire to avoid the whole blogging scene while still mind-dumping the tiniest little details about their lives (I’m joining up later today). Still, some of them are downright stalkers. Thus, a fun little trick is to twit lies. Instead of, “going to the baseball game lol” try, “inventing a new micro surgical device in my basement.” It will really throw of the paparazzi.

Form A Cult

The only reason I would sign up for twitter. I have this theory that it would be quite easy to form a cult using this service. Follow me for a minute. You can post tiny messages containing information that is far too short, unquestionable and interesting to ignore and then spread this information to a mass of followers.

This makes a natural platform for anyone from your average blogging egoist looking for a platform, to major cults of personality like celebrities and sports stars to push their personal agenda through the power of SMS. Wrap some Adsense around this, and you have the perfect Web 2.0 business model.

Now that you know how to use Twitter, go out a do it. It probably won’t make you a better person, and definitely won’t improve your life, but what on the internet does?

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