Jason, I salute you. I was going to go into it but I decided to let Tech Spoofs do it instead. Enjoy.

Here at Calacanis Blogging Consultancy®, we have taken on the crusade to bring every blogger our Patent-Pending, Streamlined System™ designed to EXPLODE your blogging statistics. Culled from patented Tibetan meditation tactics, and distilled from years of exhaustively researched blogging strategies, our system is GUARANTEED to provide an unique, powerful, and really spiffy service for all of our clients. Putting the KEYS to unlocking your blogs hidden potential into your hands.

You may have seen copycat products that say they can EXPLODE your traffic but most of them have simply tried to imitate what they think we are doing with Calacanis Blogging Consultancy® — but they always fall short…

Split the article open after the jump »

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If you enjoyed that why not find a job or read our guide to working in the 21st century. You can also join our Kiva team or hire me for your project.