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Recently, Amazon began selling groceries. Why anyone would buy groceries online is beyond me, but where there is a market there is a way. More importantly, however, is that by doing so they have managed to prove a fact that has eluded man for ages. What you may not have known is that Milk, that calcium rich beverage squeezed from a cow’s nipple, actually has magical properties. For example,

At first I was struck with despair when my cat got into my gallon of Tuscan whole milk, but what was once consternation quickly turned to joy as seconds later my cat became Halle Berry dressed in a black leather cat outfit. I cannot thank the creators of Tuscan whole milk and Gristedes Supermarkets of New York for the limitless pleasure which ensued.

Parody is the mother of wit, find all sorts of interesting facts about milk here.