Waldo Google Maps

Back in the dark ages of dating, you would have to take the word of your friends that the blind date they are setting you up with is not a psycho cat collector with a record. After the date from Hell, you would report back to your friends that if they ever tried to set up again you would strike them off your Christmas list or worse yet do the same to them.

It’s the 21st Century and we now have Google. In the last ten years you have used it to search for the closest Ramen place, or that actor in the movie you are watching, but have you ever used it to find out about a potential date? Would you even admit it? Would you feel insecure if they had more hits than you? Have you ever been propositioned at a bar by a man who said “Just Google me from your cell phone, babe”?


I’m Feeling Lucky

After spending your work lunch reading everything there to know about him/her, you have accepted the blind date and you are sitting across from them. Do you let on that you know they won the Baton Twirling contest in grade two? Or that she was the runner up in the Lambda Chi Alpha Beer Bust Babe contest two years running? In your head you are dying to talk about your common interest in “The Next Generation”, or about the similarities in your Netflix queues.

Unless you stay sober, there is a chance you will slip up and mumble “. . . and I loved your ‘Hot Buns’ set on Flickr”. Either you get the creepy stalker stare from them or the, “I am so flattered you looked me up. Did you see me on YouTube?” look.


I Was Stupid Then

Consider this, with every click on your keyboard you are leaving traces of yourself all over the internet. Unlike face to face conversation you can’t “take it back”; on the internet your words will live on, forever embedded. So if you ever want to date again, I have just one word, “Behave.”

And try to not date a blogger, because you will end up on that blog whether you like it or not. If they are kind, you will remain anonymous; if they are all about transparency, then I would seriously consider dating someone who has never heard of Google.

In an age where a Hong Kong actor bringing in his laptop for repair finds his entire collection of private photos online or a presidential candidate’s choice of Pastor is put on display in the instant of a keystroke; we must take in consideration of our behavior and how it will affect us in the future. Unlike Pandora’s Box, there is no choice of opening it or not; it is open to your business contacts and potential lovers. The next billionaire will be the one who develops the application that will let you cherry-pick what is seen and not seen. Then you once again can go on that truly blind date.

Ophelia Chong is an artist out of Los Angeles, you can find some of her wonderful work at Flickr.

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