The first working airplane was built by a pair of brothers who knew next to nothing about the air, and nothing at all about planes. The Wright brothers, the most famous duo of aviation to ever grace the skies were bike makers and small time tinkerers, a couple of guys who just so happened to have the insight that some of the same principles that allowed their customers to ride a bike without falling flat on their faces would allow a person to pilot a plane without meeting a much more unpleasant end.

I sit here having just finished reading article number 345,576 about how hard it is to find work. This storyline is rapidly becoming the grand narrative of modern American life, and quite possibly the only issue that every ideological faction otherwise busy nipping and biting at each other’s heels can, in some part, agree on. It’s an idea that resonates with this generation as well as two cars in every garage and the American Dream did with the last. It’s the Super Premium Unleaded gas in the tanks of issues ranging from who should be President to the rising cost of education. It’s an idea that, despite the good intentions and very real pain of those expousing it, misses the point entirely.

There is a simple formula I use when determining how much money a startup should spend on display advertising in its first year. First, I take whatever budget they had arrived at through careful modeling of estimated traffic, revenue goals and sundry and then I proceed to multiply it by zero. The result is the new budget.

It was a Friday afternoon and I was sitting in a surprisingly comfortable chair in a set of offices tucked away on the ground floor of a Major Hotel Chain. I was gripping one of those tiny bottles of water they give out when they are not really interested in seeing you hydrated but do want to offer you something to show they care. In front of me was a friendly looking man in a Hawaiian shirt, grinning from ear to ear and rattling off the wonders of timeshare ownership. I’d slept 5 hours in the last two days, and while my eyes said I was listening intently to the benefits of this “no lose” offer, a part of me was wondering how I had ended up here.

Other than writing pithy blog posts and tweeting, a big part of what I do to pay the rent is consult. Over the years I’ve become a lot better at it and have, through trial an error, gathered a few nuggets of wisdom that have helped me become not quite as awful at my job. The following is yet another part of my Living in the 21st Century series, this time dedicated to shedding a little light on how consultants can fail. At one time or another I’ve done (or seen) most of these things, which is why it gives me such great joy to shine a spotlight on them.

Without further ado, you know you have a bad consultant when:

As a part of Living in the 21st Century I wanted to take a closer look at small businesses. I’m not talking about freelancers and independent contractors right now, I’m talking about your friendly neighborhood “startup.” The type of business that brings together a small group of clever people to tackle some hard problem, and runs into all the issues inherent in that task. The following are a few truths I’ve learned while working with them.

As a part of my Living In The 21st Century series, I wanted to take a closer look at some of the issues I’ve found from working inside and speaking with large businesses. These problems are so universal you have to wonder whether it’s individual organizations or the culture of large business itself that causes them. As always, this manifesto is not exhaustive but it is certainly comprehensive.